Controlled Chaos

Controlled Chaos... Oxymoron? Not really. It pretty much defines my life. It's a concept all to familiar to those of us in Emergency Medicine. After all, that's what Emergency departments are almost everyday. You move from one Chaotic situation to the next with continually changing factors making each move affect the next. It's almost like the Butterfly theory. Every action affects another. Then I got to thinking the other day. My entire life is much like every day in the ER. After adding my second daughter earlier this year, our lives were thrust in to chaos that is methodically controlled by myself on a daily basis. I've been a charge nurse in a Level One Trauma center for nearly all of my 8 1/2 year career, but nothing has thrown me as off base as my new life. I've always enjoyed the challenges of the ER and the puzzle it represents. If I do this then this can happen. Uh oh, it's full and this is coming we have to do this and this and this. I've always excelled at this. It's a challenge and I love it. This is how I finally had to re-frame my new role as working mom to two. Trying to plan and move and do on a daily basis. Every action having an effect on the rest of my day. I would be lying if I said that I don't occasionally miss the days where I could mindlessly drift through my days off with no thoughts of what needed to happen and when. We were so established with our nice little of family of three. Daddy working EMS every third day without fail. Me working One week on, One week off. Now we are on the roller coaster of a new system. Thrust over the past year into life change after life change we have not always had the most control over our lives. Little by little I can happily say we are beginning once again to ...Control the Chaos.